i only ponder deep

my birthday weekend! coinciding with shark week!! so amazing. so thrilling. so godly.
obviously, pictures are coming considering i hate not pictorally representing everything in my life (phone and disposable cameras ftw) (no digis hahahaha). but, in short, i had a great weekend. it felt good to be reunited with my college best friend (jessie) again. we talked about the wedding, got dinner and drinks, danced, went to a polo match, watched tons of criminal minds, had interviews, went to work, had doctor’s appts–you know, all the fun things you want to do. i left work early today and dropped her off at the train station and followed her bus until it went the opposite way i was travelling. one of my favorite depressing things to do is watch people leave. i creep and stare out my window at neighbors walking to their car and leaving, i always watch friends and family walk up to their door or drive away. i use it as my litmus test for how good of a time i had with them — if i’m sad when they walk away, that’s a good thing. if i’m happy, it means i didn’t fully enjoy my time with them. i was sad when jessie’s bus turned right as i turned left. then, as i drove through grounds, a song came on the radio that we used to sing together with jeff sometimes too (meiko boys with girlfriends http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHveHULdv78&ob=av3n). it drove the nail in the coffin. working 45hr/wk is tough. having a busy schedule is tough. feeling claustrophobic in my lifestyle is tough. but not having the friends you shared every minute of your life with for the past 4 years is the kicker. i believe that is perhaps why i feel sad and disappointed often.

happy 23 me! so long 22. i try to reflect on you, 22, but because i am a professional, i don’t do anything fun anymore. best memory: baptizing my room mate 🙂 god is good at 22, 23, and beyond.

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